Indiana Jones and the Awkward Crusade

When I was little I would daydream about being an archaeologist. I would dream of traveling the world, wearing the coolest outfits (and hats), exploring dangerous caves and underground tunnels in hopes of discovering and unlocking a piece of history. Now, when I would express these dreams to my parents they would say, “Honey, there’s no money in archaeology. Maybe you should look into pursuing something else.” To which I replied, “What if I found a million year old bone? Then I’d be rich!” Way to crush a little kid’s dreams mom and dad.

Indiana Jones was my hero. And I’m pretty sure my first crush. So when I found out he was coming to an event at the museum I work at, I was beyond excited.

Hundreds of thoughts danced in my head. Is he going to be a cool celebrity? Or will he be a snobby, horrible A-list actor who will look down at us little people? Will he fall in love with me because I’m skinny like Calista Flockhart? Will he find me so beautiful that he’ll request I be in his next movie? I’ll finally be in a movie trailer! Oh the anticipation.

I handle the public relations at the museum so I knew I had to interact with him. So when I saw him enter the room that evening I immediately wanted to meet him. Turns out… he’s super cool. Really nice guy and seemed very humble for being honored for an award that evening (he flies rescue helicopter missions). I got to see THE scar on his chin. You know the one he gets when he was a young boy trying to return that artifact to the museum? So cool.

So the evening went well. We chatted, he handled the media interviews very gracefully, received his award and then left for his hotel. Goodbye Indie *tear.*

I managed to survive the evening without one, single awkward moment. So what’s the point of this blog post? Well… he decided to come back to the museum the following year.

This year, he wasn’t the one being honored with an award. He was there to support his friend. So when I went to greet him I immediately thought he would remember me. Why not? Who wouldn’t remember me? Well he didn’t. So, I started a conversation with him and Walt Cunningham (Apollo 7 astronaut) and we chatted for a few minutes. Then, I dropped my cellphone and I bent over to pick it up. Well so did he. And we bumped heads. Hard. So, well, that was awkward.

We continued chatting. Harrison was in awe of Walt, Walt was in awe of Harrison, I was in awe of Harrison, and well, no one was in awe of me. I kept laughing nervously, trying to sound interesting but I’m pretty sure I failed. After our conversation I decided to go to the bathroom and touch-up my makeup. As I was reapplying my lipstick I smiled. My smile quickly turned into a look of horror. AH! Green, pesto-like crud clogged each gap in my mouth. I looked frightening. I was talking to HARRISON FORD with an extremely excessive amount of green crap in my teeth–for about 15 minutes. And I probably gave him a concussion.

How could this have happened? What the hell did I eat? My dreams of him falling in love with me and asking me to star in a movie quickly faded away.

Well kids, with every awkward moment, there’s a lesson to be learned. LESSON TO ALL: Don’t eat anything that could potentially cause you to look like your teeth are rotting and you’re turning into some sort of evil witch before you meet one of your idols.

So, I’m pretty sure Harrison won’t be calling me anytime soon to star in the next Indiana Jones. Maybe if they’re looking for someone to play the lead nerd 😦

Overall it was a great experience. Hey, I got to meet one of my idols. He may think I’m the ultimate nerd but at least I met him. And for that, I am thankful.



  1. kathy bruce

    Loved reading your blog Jess. It left me with a huge smile on my face. Thank you for sharing Luv.

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